Alone
by Dralore Shimare
Summary: Filia finds herself alone and decides to end it. Alternate Endings.
1. Chapter One

"What is the point?" Tears glistened in Filia's eyes as she asked the air. "What's the point?!"

She hadn't even bothered to get out of bed this morning, much less get dressed. Filia lay there, hugging her pillow, not motivated to do anything.

A sob escaped her, muffled as she pressed her face into the blue pillow. The days had grown longer and longer, no matter how few hours there really were. Filia had tried to fill the new emptiness with taking care of her pottery shop, but since Val, Grabos, and Jiras had left, there was nothing.

Now here she as, the last Golden Dragon. Alone. After Val had been raised and was gone...What was left? She had no one. Lina, Gourry, Amelia, Zelgadiss...They were gone. Dead, having lived out their lives. Another quiet sob was muffled by the surface of the now soaked pillow. Sometimes she thought about finding their descendants but...

"It wouldn't be the same..." Filia whispered.

The only one who was still alive was Xelloss. It pained her to think about him, now, so long afterward. When Filia had finally sorted out her confused feelings, it was too late.

"Doesn't matter anyway. Mazoku can't love. Damn namagomi Mazoku." Her lips twisted into a bitter smile. There was nothing to live for anymore, her mission of raising Val was accomplished. All of her friend's were dead, her family, she loved the murderer of her race. She was empty. Alone.

Filia removed the pillow from her face and stared at the wall, her tears drying. Clarity returned, in some fashion, to her mind. Filia uncurled, sitting up and swinging her legs over the side of her bed. Standing, she walked with slow deliberate steps, exiting her room and heading for the kitchen. 

They were there, she saw them sitting on the kitchen counter, their gleaming blades sheathed in the wooden holder. There was nothing for her now, nothing. And in those gleaming blades, there lay the end to her long, empty life. Filia drew one out, admiring the craftsmanship, smiling bitterly. Steeling herself and closing her eyes, Filia placed the tip against her chest, over her heart, turning the blade so it would fit between her ribs.


	2. Ending A

"Filia!" A firm hand grabbed her wrist, jerking it away from her breast where it had placed the knife.

Filia's eyes flew open to see Xelloss' face.

"Damn you! Why are you stopping me?!!!" She tried to yank her wrist out of his grip and failed. Xelloss' grip tightened, casing Filia to gasp in pain and release the knife. He kicked it away as she tried to grab for it with her free hand. Failing that, Filia reached for the other knives, invariably finding her other wrist in his grasp as well.

"Damn you Namagomi! LET ME GO!!" She screamed, kicking out at him. Xelloss made no move to dodge, simply holding her wrists as she continued to struggle and kick, screaming curses at him, tears streaming down her face. Eventually her struggling stopped. Exhausted, Filia hung limply in his grip. Xelloss released her wrists slowly and she sat on the floor, crying, and slowly pulled her knees to her chest. He sank down beside her, putting an arm around her.

"Why...?" She asked softly. "Why did you stop me?"

A moment of silence passed, "You aren't as alone as you might think."

Filia looked at him, "Really?"

Xelloss grinned, "And I couldn't let a violent ryuuzoku commit such a shocking act." He opened one eye to watch her.

Filia's lips turned up into a small smile, "Namagomi..." she said almost affectionately. Another moment passed. "You'd better visit from time to time."

"Of course." He chuckled, closing his eye. "With an open invitation, why wouldn't I?"


	3. Ending B

With no further thought, she slammed the knife home. A gasp of pain burst from her lips, no other sound, as she fell to the floor. Drawing out the knife, she saw her lifeblood spilled upon the floor, the glitter of life in her eyes fading, fading, gone. Filia's lifeless eyes stared at the puddle of blood.

Xelloss looked away from the body and the red puddle that stained the clean blue tile of the kitchen. He stepped back, transporting to his Lord's room at the same time. There Xelloss knelt before her throne.

"Rise." Xelloss stood. "Is she dead?" Smoke danced lightly upwards from the cigarette as she tapped off the ashes.

"Yes Master." Xelloss bowed his head slightly, shadowing his eyes as guilt stirred inside him.

It hadn't been fair...

"You did well Xelloss. Your loyalty has once again been proved."

"Thank you Master." He murmured, stomping down mentally on a wave of guilt. "Did you need anything else?"

"No." She waved the slender hand that held her cigarette, causing her bracelets to jangle. "You're dismissed."

Xelloss nodded, disappearing to his own room. Guilt washed over him in a flood. He'd forced her over the edge, manipulating her in one way or another into that last state. Xelloss leaned his staff against the wall, then undid the clasp on his cloak, twirling the cloak into a chair with a rustle of fabric.

Xelloss had lusted after her since the beginning, that sweet temper, fiery face, perfect body. Just the spirit to break. But something had happened. He'd begun to feel a possessiveness, then started to simply enjoy her company.

"One could almost say I started..." Xelloss choked on his sentence, "to love."

A painful wave of grief raced through him. If only he had disobeyed...But to disobey or lie meant death. Even for him, her highest and most trusted servant. Xelloss sat on the windowsill, watching the waves, the now-calm sea that surrounded Wolfpack Island. The sea was beautiful, like her, like her eyes. A blank, glazed pair of sapphire eyes stared at Xelloss from his memory. Eyes that wouldn't let him forget the guilt and grief for as long as his life lasted.


End file.
